Friday, January 16, 2009
11:17 PM
I HAVE MOVED!! This is my new blog: http://raspberryretard.livejournal.com/
Till then, cheers! =D
no words can express
my love for you
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
9:07 PM
Hey hey hey everybody! This blog is dead! Haha! Perhaps after reading yesterday's article, it's sometimes best not to put too much personal information online. Besides, I still prefer the pen and paper method, call me old-fashioned, but yea...especially since I have a feeling my life is going to experience great changes...too private to put online...maybe?
But I kinda like my link so I'm going to keep it...perhaps, maybe, someday I'll revamp this blog, but till then, CIAO EVERYONE! =)
no words can express
my love for you
Monday, June 02, 2008
12:41 AM
Currently, it's the June holidays and while other kids are comtemplating where to go play or just spend this precious "school's off" period, I'm at home, stuffing my brain with facts, facts and more facts. Economics, Biology, Chemistry and Maths in preparation for the common tests commencing on 23rd June.
So I was surfing the Net, when I decided to go watch "Under the Canopy of Love" starring Kevin Cheng and Nikki Chow. It's a good TVB series, much better than our local ones. And I'm a great fan of Kevin, not that fanatic to do anything outgrageous, but you know, the kind of "silent admirer". Ha ha!
OMG! He's like damn hot, despite the fact he's 38 this year and that when he smiles, you can see the wrinkles and crow feet on his face. But that's totally besides the point.
My mum's in love with Joe Ma, which I am too...I have a few hot guys that I admire, including..erm...I don't know. Maybe "jian yi ge ai yi ge" (see one love one) bah...
But the bad thing about watching shows especially something like Under the Canopy of Love is that it creates illusions and distracts you from studying. So for the past few nights, I've been sleeping at about 2am just watching episode after episode...and it's bad since it disrupts my "biological clock" (you know what I mean)...
But I'm suffering from "withdrawal symptoms"....lol...and I'm kind of disappointed that there are rumours that Kevin might be dating Nikki..since they have collaborated 3 times for filming..and as a couple too...but oh well...someday, I believe my future one will be much better than him...at least I hope so..=D
no words can express
my love for you
Sunday, March 02, 2008
7:08 PM
Just a quick one before I go mug for my Chem test. =D
I was having lunch at AMK Hub since I have 90 minute break before my Chem lesson. So I took a quick stroll at Basement 2, hoping to get some "extra" bites to smuggle into class. As I was walking past an outlet, I heard someone call my name. I looked around first before focusing onto the person that was in front of me- it was her. For the past 1 year ever since we went separate ways, I to JC and she to another education institute, and I didn't think of meeting her again, until then. So I approached her at the food outlet and asked her why was she working at 12 plus, an odd hour as a student should be studying then. She told me she dropped the course she was taking and decided to work.
I was stunned. I didn't expect her, an 18-year-old to face the brutal working world with just an O level cert, since she's not intending to further her studies.
The conversation was brief, as I only had 25 minutes to get back to AJ for my Chem lesson. But the impact hit me hard, like a tight slap on the face. I've always felt like quitting school since it was so tough, especially with band and everything. But I think God has finally responded to my thoughts. I'm not trying to be mean or what, but from the Bio perspective, it's like being "selected against". I think that's what God is trying to tell me, not to give up. Sometimes, I do think it's better to know than not to know.
Another thing, I also felt extremely silly that I actually disliked her a lot when she acquired the position in my CCA that I have sought after. During my upper secondary days, she was like my "head" in band, and I'm just a member while she was holding the top position. I still remember it was the 5th of May 2005, when I tried not to cry until I got into Daddy's car as we were preparing to out for dinner. In there, I bawled like a big baby. Daddy and Mummy said all these positions aren't important, and studies are more crucial, since my O levels was the next year. But I still refused to heed their advice, the tears just flowed like nobody's business.
It made me silly, it made me foolish, like a big idiot, to think that I actually cared for such trivial matters. When I saw her, I couldn't believe my eyes, that the girl sitting at a doughnut outlet, was actually the girl who acquired the top position in my CCA. And I disliked her because of that.
Now, I guess God is trying to tell me to let bygones be bygones, and I will.
Please bless me, as I'm getting back my Chinese results soon...
no words can express
my love for you
Saturday, December 29, 2007
5:21 PM
Christmas has always been the most anticipated festival for me...and as usual, it was extremely fun to be involved in the Christmas celebration at church, though I've only got 1 gig playing the piano =D. But this year, I guess it's when I've really thought it true and decided that there are some things that I really have to let go. And it's pointless just clinging on to them.
According to him, there were "too many things to commit", too many that needed his attention. Again and again, he never fulfilled any promises he made...always breaking them, and breaking my heart. Just when I thought I had found the perfect friend, I was left to be disappointed, and dejected.
Like I always say, everything should have ended the moment he left, the moment he was out of sight. But no, I was stupid, foolish enough to still think our friendship could go on...that it would persevere despite the fact we are miles away, and not seeing each other's faces for about 1 to 2 years. I'm forever in my "fantasy world", where nothing is imperfect and doesn't go according to my plan. I refuse to face reality. But it's OK, because I'm proud and sure I'm making the right move. For someone who thinks a "sorry" can solve all the problems that didn't accumulate overnight, I definitely have no qualms starting 2008 afresh, without him in my life. After all, I don't think I meant much to him either, since his girlfriend is still alive and kicking.
I guess it's time to move on and get a life.
By the way, after this year, I really don't have much faith in love, in fact, I'm starting NOT to believe in love anymore.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??
no words can express
my love for you
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
6:03 PM
Ok, so my life is not as exciting or "sweet" as some others out there in this world. I guess being confirmed as a Christian doesn't really bring about dramatic changes. And once again, I don't know why, but I am just so foolish to view my friends' blog...and my eyes stupidly chanced upon the pictures that they took with their "soul mates", even though I know jealously and envy will overwhelm me again.
Look, what's the point of scoring 91/100 for my Piano Diploma Exam? I thought I'd be satisfied, or happy. Unfortunately, I realize there's more than life to this. The worse thing is I care for such things when my major exams are coming up! I am seriously unsure about what the heck is bloody wrong with me.
While others get many tags everyday, my number is often stagnant, hardly increasing at all. This leaves me no reason to keep this webpage anymore...
Hmm...maybe I should give serious thought about closing it down...I guess there are some things that only works with the traditional methods. In this case, "pen and paper" would be a comfortable way to jot down my life. Maybe abstain from other people's blog too..then I can psycho myself that the life I live is far more interesting than anyone in this world, or even universe.
Meanwhile, I will continue to brainwash myself with Christian songs...hopefully Hillsong helps..=D
no words can express
my love for you
Sunday, December 02, 2007
9:16 PM
After fervently wishing for about 3 months, I finally got what I wanted. YAY! I have a fever!
My body's temperature is 38.2 degrees currently.
And I just have fever, no flu or sore throat or anything.
Cool huh?
Besides, I've decided to PERM MY HAIR! Ok, not really perm until that curly..but make it wavy...I'm rather sick of straight hair...
So..I'll be going to the salon on Tuesday..I guess..
Hope it turns out well! I don't want any hair disasters!!
Lastly, I'm finally baptised (or rather confirmed) as a Christian!! It makes me proud to shout it out to the whole world!
The lesson my fever thought me? Always be careful of what you wish for...
no words can express
my love for you
Thursday, November 29, 2007
8:17 PM
After 1 week of resting at home, I'm finally able to attend band practices. However, things were kind of unexpected. Why do I say so? The minute I return, I found out someone has been saying nasty things during my absence. That it's rather strange that a sprained ankle requires 1 week of MC. Like I always believe, you can't stop tongues from wagging...it's theirs anyway. I'm absolutely sure your intellectuality is high enough to at least guess where these words came from. The hint? It's from none of the students.
Anyway, what I can't stand is this person is a coward. Because he daren't say it in front of my face. Mind you, I don't just get mad over the "MC" issue..there's more than that but it's really pointless to list them down one by one. It all revolves around "the principles of life". Only a coward would take advantage of a person's absence to bad mouth him or her.
Besides, I'm not really concerned about the band's upcoming concert. The timing is untimely, the venue is a "God-knows-where" place...and the tickets, contary to my initial perception, is priced at $10. I thought admission was free, resembling the National Day Parade where it's free and you just need tickets.
I have to sell 15, and may I ask, who wants to go? Who's willing to pull out a red note out of their pockets?
I shan't drone on and on to gain your sympathy.
May God be my witness and punish your tongue as he deem fit...
no words can express
my love for you
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
9:24 PM
Muahaha! PW is finished (hopefully I'm not)!! I think the only reason why PW entices me is because of OP. I have learnt how to stand in front of an audience and to present formally, how to engage them and to have eye contact with them. And I truly must say 09/07 is the best class that I've ever had (followed by 6C and then 2/5). It makes me proud to be part of this wonderful class. We gave one another support during OP, by looking at the presenter whenever he/she is presenting. I did my part too! Yes, yes, I did say that I would sleep if I was very first presenter of the day, but deep down inside, I will never ever betray my own classmates. In short, whatever I said is just superficial...lol...
The examiners were from AJC, they were Ms Casey Goh and a Physics teacher. We had no so-called "chief-examiner" or "moderator", which I am unsure if it was a blessing or curse...but these two teachers were so nice, especially when I was presenting. The physics teacher kept nodding his head and looking at our powerpoint presentation like it was the most interesting thing in the world. The question they asked me was also something I was prepared for. In fact, for my group, we spotted 3 out of the 5 questions asked. Ha ha ha!!
After that, we went to Swensens to celebrate the end of PW.
I'm just so elated! Finally, no more meetings, no more staying up late nights, and no more racking of brains to answer stupid questions like why would this company want to work with us or why is our event situated at a particular timing.
YAY!!! =D
no words can express
my love for you
Monday, October 29, 2007
8:44 PM
Well...I'm back after a long long break. Many events have happened during this time, last week...after a long marathon of 4 years..I finally plucked up the courage and erm...told him. But I guess things did not go my way...realization then has dawned upon me. It was utterly foolish for me to harbour feelings for such a jerk. It would have been better if he had told me straight whether he likes me or not, instead of avoiding the damn question.
DAMN IT! I'M REALLY PISSED OFF! Wasted my time and tears!! I've never met such a person in my life!! You know what? You're such a disgrace to all the men in the world!!
Gazing at all my friends who are currently "attached", I feel so empty...I mean, no matter how bubbly or how "crazy" I try to be...deep down in my heart, I'm still a girl after all. I need security, love, care and concern. I simply cannot afford to give anymore of these...
However, I still have faith and trust in God for such things...and it is true that they cannot be compelled...so I'll just have to wait, patiently...
In conclusion, meeting YOU was really, truly the GREATEST MISTAKE I'VE EVER MADE IN MY WHOLE ENTRIE LIFE!!!
no words can express
my love for you
Friday, June 08, 2007
9:51 PM
Oh God...I'm at a loss..so confused..in a dilemma that I don't know what I should do next...I can't seem to comprehend why my life is so complicated...
God's creation is so funny...our emotions...we get angry with the person, but yet we cry for the same person as well...
I remember when Mrs Teo stood at the aisle taking attendance for our class, I was totally tongue-tied..not because I was ecstatic, but because I felt that I was the "sway-est" person in the whole wide world...what did I do in my past life to get such a strict and picky teacher that even wants me to greet her every single morning at assembly?
We even have to abide by the "Alice Teo constant", which is to reach the foyer by 7.25am. At first, everyone of us were strongly against the idea...we just seem to not accept the fact that others can stroll in between 7.25am to 7.28am.
I remember we and her..arguing and compromising one another in the classroom at Block 10...where all of us were lamenting that we had to go through this, find a solution before we can actually start lesson "officially".
But then...slowly, we began to accept her as who she is, to accomodate her "pickiness". We learnt that listening is much more important than using your mouth during lessons..so when she's talking, the atmosphere in class was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. But she appreciated our effort, in a way...because she always had stories to tell...funny or strange (the time when she told us she had a friend who had "yin-yang eye"), or even inspiring (to "date" only when studying in university).
Every session of Chinese with her was like a "laughing session", where we could relax by laughing. She disects Chinese texts very well...reading line by line...no wonder we're always so slow compared to other classes...lol...
When she announced she might resign before June holidays...all of us took it light-heartedly, thinking it was some joke or comment...we didn't even bother to probe furthur.
And just yesterday during our Chinese holiday lecture, she once again dropped a bomb onto all of us..she had tendered her resignation on 25th of May...and she'll be officially leaving the school next week. You can actually see most of the student's faces contorted with shock, with disbelieve...I was like..why? Then all those memories flooded back...causing the my tear duct to activate..releasing a waterfall of tears...maybe it's because I was receiving blow after blow that I hid all my emotions deep inside me...so when the final "blow" arrived, I was seriously unable to control myself and the tears just rolled...
So much so I had to leave the room so that Mrs A.T wouldn't see my whole face wet with tears...I just don't understand myself..just 3 months ago, I dread seeing her for 2 years...but yesterday, I realized how hard it would be NOT seeing her for 2 years...
What's worse, most of my classmates speculate Clement Ong would take over as PD Tutor...ince the CHINA teacher relieving Mrs A.T is a SECONDARY SCHOOL TEACHER WHO'LL BE SEEING US THROUGH OUR A LEVELS.
What else am I supposed to say other than a simple word- "help"?
PS: If I tell you I'm not going to miss Mrs A.T, her hilarious stories, her teachings and her famous "philantrophy act" of feeding us students with countless packets of M&Ms, then I'm not only telling one of the biggest lies in the universe, but I'm also be deceiving myself...
no words can express
my love for you
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
10:26 PM
Tried quietening myself down..but it was futile..I'm in a freakingly bad mood today...It's like..I certainly won't get mad or frown over one thing...it's a pile of matters..that caused me to be unhappy today...
The only good thing that happened today was that "HE" called my name 3 times during lecture in the morning..at least "HE" does remember me..that was the only comforting point...
And it's certainly not enough to alleviate my anger that I have for some people...some that I've been treating them as "best friends" and this is the shit I get...what's reciprocated upon me is one of the few reasons why I strongly believe that such terms like "best friends" no longer exist in this world..many good friends, or a few extremely damn good friends..but no one friend is my "best friend"..
Hello Miss? YOU'RE FREAKINGLY DOWNGRADED! You've made me extremely disappointed in you..YOU'VE FAILED TO REACH MY EXPECTATIONS! After all I've done for you...
DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE PRESENT AT YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR! DAMN IT!
no words can express
my love for you
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
10:59 PM
WHEETS!!! I finally watched the last of the trilogy of Pirates of the Carribean!!! Managed to catch a late night show at Lido Theatre...lol...IT WAS DAMN COOL!!
Ok, maybe not as funny and hilarious as the 2nd one..where we saw Jack Sparrow running around with a stick filled with fruits on his back...but nevertheless...it's still a good show overall...
But the ending was rather tragic and kind of unexpected...Will Turner died, yes, he was stabbed by that stupid Davy Jones..but his father dug his heart out and put it in the chest because the Flying Dutchman needs to have a new heir as captain...Davy Jones perished as a result of Jack Sparrow's doing...he plunged the knife right into his beating heart...eeww!!
And so...even though Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner were "married" under the witness of Captain Barbosa, but they were still separated!! Damn! Will took over the duty of ferrying the souls of those who died at sea to the "other world" and just like Jones, he can only step foot on land every 10 years...10 YEARS!! I think I'll die if I was Elizabeth...There was one line in the 2 hour 50 minutes movie that was quite touching and that was when Will said to Elizabeth,"My heart will always belong to you."...aww...so sweet of him...
I think both Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are as handsome as ever...especially when Orlando became the new captain...with his chest-bearing clothes...he was so ravishing..I just don't understand why men like to bear their chests...but I think it's kinda cool and erm...manly?
Ha ha..anyway can't blog any longer...dad's back from work...JOHNNY DEPP AND ORLANDO BLOOM ROCKS!! NEXT MOVIE: OCEAN'S THIRTEEN!!! YAY!!!
no words can express
my love for you
Thursday, May 24, 2007
5:26 PM
Mua ha ha!! Chemistry SPA is over!!! Suddenly feel so relieved...like the a heavy boulder has just been lifted off my shoulders...
June holidays are coming..but I don't feel excited. In fact, I'm not really anticipating it...because I have too much homework to do, so little time...
Time really flies...it's like...unknowingly, I've been in AJC for nearly 5 months already...lol...and the pace that the lecturers and teachers are going is like that of an express train..no longer the secondary school kind where the teachers will slow down for you or wait for you...
Haiz..don't wanna blog furthur...must really take a good, refreshing break today...going off to game. Ciao!! =D
no words can express
my love for you
Monday, May 21, 2007
7:10 PM
Intially, I was rather disappointed that I, am once again position-less..but as I heard the so-called trainings that Mr Alvin's planning to give during the June holidays, coupled with my own preparation for numerous big events in my life like- Piano Dip. exam, being accompanist for my junior's flute exam, COMMON TESTS!!, focusing on PW and even wanting to dig some moments to spend with myself (be it "stoning" or catching a movie ALONE, YES! ALONE!), I find that I really have no more of "me" to put into the band. Mind you, I still love the band because it's integrated to become a part of who I am..but I'm simply one who will break down when facing all these stress..OH! ONE MORE THING! CHURCH COMMITTMENT! That's right..I've been "reprimanded" by someone just because I misplaced my priorties, well, a friend who left for another church some time ago...so Ive really got to rank all my committments...
Maybe it's probably God's will that I manage myself first..because if I can't even keep myself disciplined or on-task, how am I going to even bother about other people's stuff? The band will only fall at my incompetency, and this I have to admit it's truly true!
But still, I'm happy!! Because I've finally got to talk to someone whom I've been yearning to talk to...well...and I've found out something that instilled a sense of euphoria in me...but still, at least the person cares...lol...I'M JUST SO ECSTATIC!!
Perhaps I'll start the conversation first if we ever meet online again...since I wasn't the one who initiated it first...at least there's initiative in the person...ha ha!
no words can express
my love for you
Friday, May 18, 2007
11:40 PM
Lol...today was House Friday...so we all had to wear our house T-shirts..mine was Panther house..so...yup...stand together with other classes of the same house during assembly...
Mrs Teo told us to go IVLE and view the presentation on "Tribute to the Bees"..it was really as what she said- damn good!!
I did quite a lot of copying onto my textbook...hopefully it'll be productive learning...
Today was also the day they selected the J1s to be executive committee members and music committee members..as usual, i'm post-less...haiz...but it's good that way too, since I don't need to stress myself up with additional load..
But there's some things that I'm really unhappy about..I mean, what's the point of demonstrating open defiance?? It'll only put you in bad light...but let me clarify one point. There are, in this world, some posts that are actually meant for those who qualify for it, as in possessing the talent and knowledge and background and having what it takes to acquire the position. Not any Tom, Dick or Harry and be what they're not meant to be. So what puzzles me is that why such controversy exists? As in, one lacks have what it takes, one doesn't, in nature fact, meet the requirements for the posts, but yet, one just sits firmly in that position...
Mind you, I looking at the one's fall...I don't mind one being above me, I'll just shut up, but what pisses me off is that one don't even have experience from doing something, how can one do it properly?
Anyway, I'm watching, I'm looking, I'm scanning very intently...I'm awaiting one's fall...
no words can express
my love for you