Friday, June 08, 2007
9:51 PM
Oh God...I'm at a loss..so confused..in a dilemma that I don't know what I should do next...I can't seem to comprehend why my life is so complicated...
God's creation is so funny...our emotions...we get angry with the person, but yet we cry for the same person as well...
I remember when Mrs Teo stood at the aisle taking attendance for our class, I was totally tongue-tied..not because I was ecstatic, but because I felt that I was the "sway-est" person in the whole wide world...what did I do in my past life to get such a strict and picky teacher that even wants me to greet her every single morning at assembly?
We even have to abide by the "Alice Teo constant", which is to reach the foyer by 7.25am. At first, everyone of us were strongly against the idea...we just seem to not accept the fact that others can stroll in between 7.25am to 7.28am.
I remember we and her..arguing and compromising one another in the classroom at Block 10...where all of us were lamenting that we had to go through this, find a solution before we can actually start lesson "officially".
But then...slowly, we began to accept her as who she is, to accomodate her "pickiness". We learnt that listening is much more important than using your mouth during lessons..so when she's talking, the atmosphere in class was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. But she appreciated our effort, in a way...because she always had stories to tell...funny or strange (the time when she told us she had a friend who had "yin-yang eye"), or even inspiring (to "date" only when studying in university).
Every session of Chinese with her was like a "laughing session", where we could relax by laughing. She disects Chinese texts very well...reading line by line...no wonder we're always so slow compared to other classes...lol...
When she announced she might resign before June holidays...all of us took it light-heartedly, thinking it was some joke or comment...we didn't even bother to probe furthur.
And just yesterday during our Chinese holiday lecture, she once again dropped a bomb onto all of us..she had tendered her resignation on 25th of May...and she'll be officially leaving the school next week. You can actually see most of the student's faces contorted with shock, with disbelieve...I was like..why? Then all those memories flooded back...causing the my tear duct to activate..releasing a waterfall of tears...maybe it's because I was receiving blow after blow that I hid all my emotions deep inside me...so when the final "blow" arrived, I was seriously unable to control myself and the tears just rolled...
So much so I had to leave the room so that Mrs A.T wouldn't see my whole face wet with tears...I just don't understand myself..just 3 months ago, I dread seeing her for 2 years...but yesterday, I realized how hard it would be NOT seeing her for 2 years...
What's worse, most of my classmates speculate Clement Ong would take over as PD Tutor...ince the CHINA teacher relieving Mrs A.T is a SECONDARY SCHOOL TEACHER WHO'LL BE SEEING US THROUGH OUR A LEVELS.
What else am I supposed to say other than a simple word- "help"?
PS: If I tell you I'm not going to miss Mrs A.T, her hilarious stories, her teachings and her famous "philantrophy act" of feeding us students with countless packets of M&Ms, then I'm not only telling one of the biggest lies in the universe, but I'm also be deceiving myself...
no words can express
my love for you
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
10:26 PM
Tried quietening myself down..but it was futile..I'm in a freakingly bad mood today...It's like..I certainly won't get mad or frown over one thing...it's a pile of matters..that caused me to be unhappy today...
The only good thing that happened today was that "HE" called my name 3 times during lecture in the morning..at least "HE" does remember me..that was the only comforting point...
And it's certainly not enough to alleviate my anger that I have for some people...some that I've been treating them as "best friends" and this is the shit I get...what's reciprocated upon me is one of the few reasons why I strongly believe that such terms like "best friends" no longer exist in this world..many good friends, or a few extremely damn good friends..but no one friend is my "best friend"..
Hello Miss? YOU'RE FREAKINGLY DOWNGRADED! You've made me extremely disappointed in you..YOU'VE FAILED TO REACH MY EXPECTATIONS! After all I've done for you...
DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE PRESENT AT YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR! DAMN IT!
no words can express
my love for you