Just received a call from NYJC. In normal circumstances, I would be very elated and jumping for joy, screaming my lungs out. But now? I'M CAUGHT IN A DILEMMA, IN A PREDICAMENT!!
No doubt they have accepted my application, but I cannot deny the fact that my heart suddenly felt heavy. Now 2 JCs have accepted me!! Oh God!! The rules of this DSA is that I'm not suppose to "two-time" JCs if not I'm disqualified of the scheme should I be caught violating their rules. This wasn't suppose to happen!!
I'm so sorry Mr Tan!! If I could turn back time, I would. I thought I wouldn't be able to get in AJ...so I applied to NY as well...then AJ offered first, "striked while the iron was hot" and I accepted theirs. Haiz...I think Mr Tan will flare up when he knows about this. I wanted to tell him I didn't want NY already, but it was just so unfortunate, or maybe I was being made a sport at, that he was overseas. When I learnt from my juniors during the concert that he "sarcastiscally" said I was in his JC after they asked about me, I really wished at that moment he truly was being sarcastic. Then I wouldn't have to be the "baddie" and turn down his offer. I'd rather he don't want me to be in.
Daddy agrees that NY is a good junior college. However, it's been my dream to enter AJ. It's either one or none, considering I'll be disqualified if I accept both...lol
Mummy says I "played people out", since Mr Tan was really kind-hearted to help me out. This made feel even more remorseful. PLEASE! I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN!! AH!!!
Why is life so cruel? It's either you have everything in the world or you don't have none. Some people I know can't get in. But yet, I should consider myself luxurious to have the power or right to reject. I'm not boasting, seriously I'm not. My point is...well...Mr Tan went through so much trouble (I surmise) to get us in and now I'm not appreciating his effort. Think about this: No auditions, no interview, don't even have to submit in application form (even though I did) and you can enter.
I'm still pondering how to break this news to NY when I go collect the confirmation form tomorrow without causing any hard feelings. Wish me luck.
PS: Maybe I'm just over-reacting and being paranoid...-_-