Christmas has always been the most anticipated festival for me...and as usual, it was extremely fun to be involved in the Christmas celebration at church, though I've only got 1 gig playing the piano =D. But this year, I guess it's when I've really thought it true and decided that there are some things that I really have to let go. And it's pointless just clinging on to them.
According to him, there were "too many things to commit", too many that needed his attention. Again and again, he never fulfilled any promises he made...always breaking them, and breaking my heart. Just when I thought I had found the perfect friend, I was left to be disappointed, and dejected.
Like I always say, everything should have ended the moment he left, the moment he was out of sight. But no, I was stupid, foolish enough to still think our friendship could go on...that it would persevere despite the fact we are miles away, and not seeing each other's faces for about 1 to 2 years. I'm forever in my "fantasy world", where nothing is imperfect and doesn't go according to my plan. I refuse to face reality. But it's OK, because I'm proud and sure I'm making the right move. For someone who thinks a "sorry" can solve all the problems that didn't accumulate overnight, I definitely have no qualms starting 2008 afresh, without him in my life. After all, I don't think I meant much to him either, since his girlfriend is still alive and kicking.
I guess it's time to move on and get a life.
By the way, after this year, I really don't have much faith in love, in fact, I'm starting NOT to believe in love anymore.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??
